Friday, May 25, 2012

Third Grade Biology


Mouse (n.)
A small rodent that typically has a pointed snout, relatively large ears and eyes, and a long tail

Rodent (n.)
A gnawing mammal of an order that includes rats, mice, squirrels, hamsters, porcupines, and their relatives, distinguished by strong constantly growing incisors and no canine teeth.
 
Mammal (n.)
A warm-blooded vertebrate animal of a class that is distinguished by the possession of hair or fur, the secretion of milk by females for the nourishment of the young, and (typically) the birth of live young.


Since all mice are rodents and all rodents are mammals then all mice are mammals. Since young mammals are nourished by their mother's milk and since all mice are mammals then young mice are nourished by their mother's milk.

That's correct, wild and domesticated mice breast feed. If you find baby mice in your back yard with no mother in sight, please leave them where they are. Their mother still has to eat and may have gone to forage for food or water. Even if the mother never returns, pet stores don't carry a suitable milk for the young mice. You can try cat formula, but the chances of the mice surviving are pretty slim. Chances get a marginally better if you take the mice to a local wildlife rescue. But if you insist that I don't know what I'm talking about and insist that they can eat adult mouse food they're going to die.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Fluorescence as a Norm

A new fish has come onto the market in the last few years. Glofish are basic Zebra Danios which have been genetically modified to fluoresce red, orange, green, blue, and purple. These fish are identical to the original Danios in every other way and require the same care. They can cohabit with any other tropical non-aggressive fish, making them ideal for most fish tanks. They're popular with people looking for something novel to put in their tank, and especially popular with children of all ages.

Today at work I came across a bag of fish I'd never seen before. Glofish Tetras are basic gold skirt Tetras which have been genetically modified to fluoresce green. They're identical to the original Tetra in every other way and require the same care. They can cohabit with any other tropical non-aggressive fish, making them ideal for most fish tanks. Same idea as the Danios, completely different species.

When people come into my store with their children to buy fish, they ask me for fish that they had as kids. Familiarity with a particular fish keeps people from feeling overwhelmed with the amount of money and effort that goes into setting up a tank. Eventually they expand their collection, allowing their children to choose the fish. Of course, the kids choose the first thing that draws their attention and what draws attention like a flourescent fish? The kids grow up and repeat the process with their own children, remembering and seeking out Glofish.

Assuming that inserting a fluorescence gene into a fish embryo is a trivial task by today's standards and considering the great demand for the Glofish currently on the market, I imagine the company will expand their selection of fluorescent fish as far as they can. What's to stop them from making Glofish Palties, Glofish Oscars, or Glofish Plecos? If  they accomplish this and fishkeeping remains a popular hobby (read: profitable market) something interesting is bound to happen.

If the demand for Glofish remains consistent and the company can get the fluorescence gene into a larger selection of species the demand for our non-modified fish will drop considerably. In 100 years, the fish department at any local pet store will be comprised almost entirely of fluorescent fish. What makes me so sure of this? Where goldfish get their name.

The majority of the goldfish we sell are red or orange. Anyone who has taken a look in a pet store will know this. They're called goldfish because their ancestors, recorded as early as 265 CE were gold in color with a very rare orange mutation. These mutations made the fish more visible to natural predators (birds, raccoons, etc.), which kept these color mutations rare. In the 1300's people began raising goldfish indoors, which effectively stopped natural selection and allowing selective breeding. No one wants to look at a fish that's the color of gold, so demand drops for those and rises for the orange fish. Now most fancy goldfish are orange or red with an occasional dirty brown fish.

Thanks to 21st century technology, we can condense the entire tedious process into just a few years and break species barriers.

Monday, February 20, 2012

The New Fiscal Year

Things are starting to look up at work again. We have a new store manager who will hopefully find a permanent position at our store. He's an older guy, so he has tons of experience, a good work ethic, and knows what he is doing. He has a genuinely friendly personality and is very approachable, and most importantly he doesn't put up with all of the problems our store has been experiencing over the last year. There have already been significant changes, and I can honestly say that I'm happy with it.

I wish I could say the same thing about some of the people I work with. Many of them are hard workers with a friendly and pleasant demeanor. Some of them are lazy, some are idiots, and some have wretched personalities, which is to be expected when with the current state of the hiring pool. My main complaint is that I miss the feeling of solidarity I experienced when I first started the job. My coworkers and I used to be a well functioning team with specified duties. Everyone had a job and everything got done by the end of the night. These days it feels more like a random assortment of people simply thrown into jobs they hate.