Monday, November 27, 2006

I'm Not Bitter, I'm Just Anxious

I'm all done with Christmas shopping. Well, I still need to buy my aunt a word search book (Walden's didn't have one and Barnes and Noble closed right before we pulled in) and I want to get Jason something nice. But the bulk of it is bought,wrapped, and tucked neatly under my bed. I really owe Jason for taking me shopping. He really should have been doing his homework, but he came over an hour early just to help me because he knows how much I've been worrying about this. And even though I'm almost done I don't really feel any less stressed. I guess that's just Christmas time in my house.

I made a real ass of myself in the car. While we were in the mall Jason took me to Sears to buy me a pair of jeans. I knew about it on the way, but as we passed a thrift store I said "I could buy gifts at the thrift store, but then I'd have to buy people clothes. And no one likes getting clothes." I totally didn't mean it. I didn't even know why I said it, but I feel like a total jerk. I was excited about getting the jeans and a nice sweater because I normally buy crappy clothes that have to last at least a few years. And I really do like what we picked out, even though Jason insisted that I get a second sweater because he thought I would be unsatisfied with only one.....but I'm not supposed to know about it and I'm going to act surprised, so no one say anything.

On a side note, Jason also wants to get me a book. It's funny because when we go into a bookstore he has to ask me the name of the book because he keeps forgetting. I completely understand that because it has a somewhat unusual title. Then after I tell him the title he immediately heads toward the Science Fiction section. That always gives me a giggle because the book is in the Physics section. I don't know why i find the situation funny. I think it's the fact that Jason runs all over trying to find what I want when I'd really be satisfied just being with him for Christmas. In case anyone is wondering, the book is A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking......but I don't know about that either.

I actually don't know why I'm still up. I've been having a lot of insomniatic episodes recently, and it's kind of annoying. I can't sleep until about 5 or 6 AM and then I'll on;y be able to sleep until about 10. Other days I'll be able to fall asleep at about two, but I won't be able to drag myself out of bed until 2. It's really bizarre. I think it would be better if I didn't have to worry about making noise and using the computer in the other room to do something creative.

Which reminds me, I want to make a short documentary. I was thinking something about Christmas or insomnia. Maybe even both if I can find a way to work it in. I'm thinking of documenting my Holiday experience and seeing what turns up. Well, I've already done everything I need, so I guess I'll need to find a volunteer.

And of course, I'm still worried about moving out. I feel a lot of pressure on both sides and I don't what to do. Jason's afraid to bring it up because he thinks it makes me depressed, which it does because I'm running out of time. But it's the holiday season so if I leave now I'd feel tremendously guilty. And Jason's leaving for NY in early January and won't be back until late March or something. I think that's adding a lot to my anxiety right there. I just don't know what to do. (I'm in a nice, good, calm mood right now though...I love Jason so much)

Monday, November 20, 2006

Meh?

I've been really stressed out for the last week. I've been trying to do so much, but accomplishing so little. I've been meaning to write a new article for Rich Magazine, which I promised I'd keep up, but I don't know what to talk about. I don't want to make all of my articles about what the future should be like, but I don't really have much else to say right now. I've also been wanting to post something else up on youtube, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to make all my videos just me playing Classical Gas, but I don't have anything to say.

When everything decides to go wrong all at once, it really bothers me. A few crises here and there would be fine, but when all these things come together and attack me as one incident it's really annoying. That's all I really have to say.

Oh, and I decided to write a science fiction script, so if anyone likes the genre and has anything they've always wanted to see in a movie, leave a comment. I'm working on an old outline that I gave up on and I'll post it here soon so everyone can have a general idea of the story.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Take Two

I had to learn to tune Jason's brother's guitar by ear because I don't have a digital tuner. I once downloaded tuning software that uses a microphone to hear the tone of the note, but it never produced the same result twice in a row and it was just a mess. So today I downloaded a tone generator to get the E string tuned, and then tuned the rest of the strings based on that. I think I got it pretty good, but I'm going to check again tomorrow.



So I guess that's what I tried that was new (I almost practiced for nearly three hours). No one gave me any suggestions! It's fine, because I'm kind of sick today. A sore throat and all that jazz. Right now I'm going to get some sleep and go clean Julie's mom's gutters with Jason.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Classical Gas and You

I made this video last night to share with a small number of people, but youtube has terrible privacy controls. So since it's available to anyone with the Internet, I figured I'd stick it up here too. I was contemplating posting it on Rich Magazine, but I decided not to because I might eventually make something out of all the clips.



If you go to the page the video is on, you'll notice a few comments from a helpful guy. I can't help but shake the feeling that it's either Jason or someone else I shared the video with. But since there is no evidence of the person's identity on the page, I can't go anywhere with it. That's okay because I like the attention no matter who it comes from.

Every couple nights I'm going to make a new video and share my progress. I probably won't post it here, but you can check out my youtube page any time to see if I posted anything new. I figured it would give me something to post since I haven't really been feeling creative, and it'll force me into practicing. And can anyone explain how to tune that damn thing? I've looked at about a million sets of instructions and I have software that's supposed to do it, but I don't think it works right and it's just a big mess. Hell, I didn't even know it was out of tune until the guy said so.

I recently started cooking a lot more than I used to. It's weird because I've never cooked more than Ramen and pancakes (not together), but I can still put together a decent meal. Last week I had a nice big salmon fillet that I coated in butter and stuck in the oven. I put parsley and crushed red pepper on it of course, but that was pretty much it and it turned out really well. Yesterday I made a steak for my aunt and me. I can't say that I like the smell of bloody beef before it's cooked, but they turned out well too. And I made some ravioli and white sauce (it's similar to the gravy in biscuits and gravy minus the meat), but I put a little too much pepper in it.

Jason and I watched Accepted today. It was a really good movie with an amazing soundtrack (three of my favorite songs were on it). It started to make me think that I should be out doing something instead of waiting around until I have a job. I mean, what if I am wasting potential talent? It might not even be in film. You never know. I'm still going to college so I can get a nice little cubical in some major corporation though. Hobbies such as filmmaking cost a lot of money.

So that's what I'm doing tomorrow: something I've never tried before. Any thoughts?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Future of Trees

I wrote an article today about how trees are completely unneeded in today's technological age. Yes, I'm a geek. I was going to write about how gravity is obsolete, but I couldn't really think of anything to say. I'm probably going to write a few more articles, but right now I'm taking a break. I also want to work on some images and maybe a quick video or two. I'm still not sure how I want the Rich Magazine video content to work, but I'll figure it out as I go.

That's all I had to say today. Thanks to everyone who supported me and told me I could do it.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Hiatus

I kind of lost steam on Rich Magazine. I just haven't been able to find anything to write about recently and I always worry too much about if something is going to be funny enough. I don't know why, but I just don't have the energy to really do anything. Could be Daylight Savings Time, but I'm not sure. I can't eeven concentrate enough to write a coherent blog entry.

Today I cleaned out my mom's garage and fought with my computer all day. I've been trying to install Xubuntu on my 333 for a while, but the liveCD wouldn't work so I had to download the alternate install CD, but now none of my spare CD drives work. It's really frustrating because all I want to do is ditch Windows.

I've been doing yoga recently and it makes me feel better in the morning. Maybe I should just do stuff in the morning instead of night like I usually do. I'll work something out and get back into things.